Top 5: Who will make Mount T.O. Erupt?

“You’re all mine!”
So over the weekend I saw the movie Orphan (great movie btw). In a nut shell the movie is like The Good Son (remember Macaulay Culkin) where this orphan, Esther is really f#$%ed up and she tries to make everyone’s life a living hell. Esther at first, made everyone in her family love her and then for whatever reason she decided to go after people. One of the ways Esther did this was pitting people in her life against her enemies. You know the story, Esther making the dad feel that the mom is against her and that her brother is jealous. Sounds a little like T.O. is playing Esther, Jerry Jones is playing the dad, and the mom and brother are Tony Romo and Jason Witten. And just like in “Orphan” all of her enemies loved her at first and then got to know the real Esther. T.O. and Esther are splitters. Them vs. us, with “them” normally winning the war.
Now of course, I’m not saying Terrell Owens is trying to literally kill his football team, but the manipulation tricks that Esther shows have a similar ring to what Owens has done. Every place that T.O. has gone, he has not only thrown someone under the bus, but he has also made a ton of friends. I remember after he was suspended indefinite with the Eagles and about 2 weeks later, half the team was on red carpet going to his extravagant birthday party. His teammates were all touting Owens as a great teammate and even some came to the defense of his banishment.
Owens has thrown a whose who of players under the bus over the years. Tony Romo, Donovan McNabb, Jeff Garcia, he even threw the Eagles “badassor,” Hugh Douglas down on the ground in the weight room. I’ll give Owens the benefit of the doubt, he has a tendency to always be on his best behavior the first year at his new address. But it doesn’t hurt to try and make an educated guess on who is going to come aboard or get run over the T.O. Express train. Let the Eruption begin.


1)You wanted weapons?

Now you get a weapon that can kill you. Every place T.O. has gone it’s the same story. He can’t get along with his quarterback. First it was Owens implying that Jeff Garcia was gay, and then complaining about Garcia’s lack of arm strength. Then it was Owens ticked off about McNabb not backing him when he wanted a new deal from the Eagles. Their egos also got in the way of each other when it came to who was the toast of the City of Brotherly Love. Then the Romo relationship seemed great on the surface the first 2 years (hey, he even paid for Romo and Simpson to go to Mexico), but his last year was all about T.O. allegedly being jealous of Romo’s relationship with Witten (see all the Esther’s parells?).
So how can Edwards learn from all his predecessor’s problems? Give it right back to Owens. That is where all of Owens quarterbacks have failed. They’ve all allowed him to run them over. Edwards has to have the mentality of, “hey if I go down, I’m taking you with me.” Of course getting Owens the ball as much as possible wouldn’t hurt either.
Odds of a T.O. Eruption: 16/1: Edwards has the whole this is T.O.’s first year with the team scenario going for him. If this was their second year together, the odds would be a lot better. I also have a lot of confidence that this will be Edwards year to shine and T.O. will bring out the best in him on the field like he did with McNabb and Romo (Right before Esther..er, T.O. gets pissed off at them)

2)Is Turk turkey?
Next to Dick Jauron, Turk Schonert is under the most pressure of the coaching staff. Sure he’s only in his second year as an offensive coordinator (how sad, took him 17 years of coaching to get his first crack at that job), but Schonert knows that it’s his calls that are going to decide who gets the football. Schonert had a better first year as a coordinator then his last two predecessors Steve Fairchild and Tom Clements (just had chills thinking about Kelly Holcomb). But Schonert made some strange calls in crucial moments of Bills games last year. Who can forget him going conservative on the last drive against Cleveland and the call for JP Losman to roll out against the Jets. You think T.O. is going to be P.C. if those type of plays are called? Get the Bus rev up for that one.
Owens has a history of run ins with his coordinators. Remember him telling off 49ers offensive coordinator Greg Knapp on the sidelines, and telling then Eagles Offensive coordintaor Brad Childress not to speak to him unless spoken to. Classic! And of course, the latest in the mini series “As the T.O. World Turns,” he claimed that Jason Garrett was showing favoritism towards getting the ball to Jason Witten (Esther strikes again). Well Turk, hate to say this but T.O.’s former coordinators have a better offensive resume then you do.
Odds of a T.O. Eruption: 8/1: This is the biggest chance of an eruption. T.O. has gone off on coordinators who were part of an established offense. When you look at the quarterbacks Schonert has coached over the years: Chris Weinke, Kelly Holcomb, Rob Johnson, and Craig Erickson, you know you got issues.

3)This isn’t Bill Parcells

Owens for the most part has gotten along with his head coaches. Wade Phillips said Owens was a great player to coach. Even Parcells was very coy during his only season with the wide out (you can’t forget that Sunday night game when Parcells and TO were making nice). Owens venom with the Eagles was more towards McNabb and ownership for not reworking his contract. The only time Owens had a huge issue with a head coach was with Steve Mariucci. Owens two biggest beefs with Mariucci was when he suspended him a game for his celebration against the Cowboys. The second was when Owens accused Mariucci of going easy, on then coach and friend Dick Jauron (hmm) during a game against the Bears.
There’s no denying that Owens has had some coaches with a lot of NFL success, but Dick Jauron doesn’t have the same clout as Reid and Parcells do. And since Owens has a hard time respecting people, how can you blame him for not respecting a coach that has one winning season in 7 years. The one thing Jauron does have going for him is that he’s known to be a players coach and everyone loves him. But so was Steve Mariucci.
Odds of a T.O. Eruption: 24/1: Jauron has the players coach thing going for him. Not to mention it would be harder for T.O. to sway the locker room to go against someone they all love (that’s what happens with having easy practices).


4)Whose the #1 option?
You want to talk about being different? T.O. and Lee Evans are about as different as Bill Maher and the Pope. Evans is the strong silent type guy who when he celebrates scoring a touchdown he just flips the ball to the official (Even hockey players think that celebration is dull). Evans most controversial statement he made was backing JP Losman when the Bills decided to bench in him in favor of Edwards. That’s about as controversial as Chris Berman inducting Ralph Wilson into the HOF. The big question is what will happen if Evans pulls a Witten, and becomes the favorite target of Edwards. We all know how Esther..er T.O. gets when someone is getting more attention then he does. Lets not forget that Edwards still has Lynch, Reed, and Parish to throw too. At least Evans is use to having a wide receiver along side him demanding the ball (Remember Eric Moulds tirades?)
Odds of a T.O. Eruption: 32/1: This is all on Evans. Evans persona works well with T.O.’s in that he really doesn’t have one. If T.O. goes off about not getting the ball enough, I’m sure Evans won’t fall into that verbal trap.


5)This could get interesting



I mentioned this before on a previous post, if the Bills start out of the gates slow you know that the majority of the players will be PC. But what about former players who have radio show spots? Kelly and Thomas have been a fixture on the Buffalo air waves for quite a few years now. I don’t expect either of them to give Owens the same treatment that former Cowboy, Michael Irvin gave to Owens. You know how the media works. If no one is calling out Owens they will go to the next best option. Kelly and Thomas in some aspects are former athletes who love to be in the spotlight. It may be too good of an opportunity to pass on criticising Owens. All they need to say is Owens main concern should be winning games. Once they say that the media will start playing the telephone game in high school, and before you know it, it’s on. It happened the same way with Bill Parcells and Keyshawn Johnson when they were at ESPN.
Odds of a T.O. Eruption: 40/1: OK, so I put this up because no one has thought of it. But it’s possible if T.O. does something controversial because the players have been trained to ignore it. And Owens gets off on people talking about him. Most likely Kelly and Thomas will play the PC role when it comes to talking about Owens. But you never know.
Best of the Rest:
Owens vs City of BuffaloYou know if the Bills stink the fans need to find a scapegoat.
Owens vs Mr. Wilson- Owens could make fun of Ralph’s old age
Owens vs his PR assistants- why not? they are awful
-Joe-
“would you hook up with Esther?”
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